The Four Color Media Monitor

Polygon's sugarcoating news of where Marvel's heading next with yet another reboot of Spider-Man's series, and the oh-so important return of a villain who'd allegedly long been absent:

It’s hard out there, even for a genetically enhanced superperson, and Spider-Man will learn it the hard way in his next relaunch. Polygon can exclusively announce that Marvel’s The Amazing Spider-Man #1, from writer Joe Kelly and artists Pepe Larraz and John Romita Jr., will drop in April 2025.

I can't say I'd heard of many relaunches in a new volume from number one lately, and certainly hadn't paid much attention, but as this makes clear, the whole trivial practice hasn't gone away. In any event, this is not a reason to buy what's in store; the story merit is what matters, and Marvel's been horribly lacking in just that for a long time. Why, Romita Jr, at this point, could also symbolize that point, since his artwork became very mediocre over the past quarter century, and was throughly wasted on J. Michael Straczynski's dreadful run, along with the disgraced Neil Gaiman's Eternals miniseries. I'm sorry to say, but Romita Jr's got none of what made Romita Sr's art the greatness it was in the Silver Age.

The pieces are in place for a classic Spider-Man adventure: Peter Parker is jobless, the Rhino is on the loose, and according to the an official synopsis for the book, “a major Spider-Villain is working behind the scenes weaponizing other Spider-Villains including one we haven’t seen in OVER SEVEN YEARS?!”

Meanwhile, Norman Osborn is Goblin-free and… well, that’s for Kelly, Larraz, and Romita Jr. to reveal.

If that's supposed to hint the Green Goblin is showing up again, we're way past the point of ability to care. Without talented writing, it's meaningless, and villains aren't the reason to look forward to this. Rather, it's the heroes and their co-stars who are, and more to say after highlighting the following:

Based on gushing comments sent to Polygon, Kelly and Larraz are living a dream with this new Spider-Man book — both men cite the hero as one of their first comic book obsessions when they were kids. So where do you even begin when challenged with adding to the 60-year legacy of the webslinger and his rogue’s gallery?

I think a far better idea would be to restore a certain lady who'd been part of his legacy for many years - Mary Jane Watson. And from the lack of any mention in this article, it's a foregone conclusion they won't. Seriously, if Marvel really wanted to reverse one of the worst editorial mandates of the past 2 decades, they would've said so right out of the gate. An alternate dimension doppelganger is no substitute. And what's new about Peter being out of a job? That's nothing new at all. Though surely what was most truly insulting was how several years ago, when Dan Slott was writer, there was a story Peter got a big time corporate job, but as expected, Mary Jane had no part in it. And nothing's changed in over 15 years since that notorious One More Day disaster.

Some of the comments, like this one, sum up the situation pretty well:

As long as Paul's still around and Mary Jane and Peter aren't married or One More Day isn't reversed I legit don't care about buying Spider-Man comics. I agree with Linkara from Atop the Fourth Wall. If the creators aren't wiling to write Peter like a freaking adult already....if they're unwilling to really let him get out of his "high school life" of not actually giving any consideration to the man over the mask, and having him actually be more responsible when the whole point of Spider-Man was that what made him popular was he was the character who faced the challenges of the real world like managing school, a job, loved ones getting older and less able to take care of themselves and even dying...

If the writers keep failing to have him act like a darn adult already...

Then why the Hell isn't he still IN high school?

Well, one of the most irritating things about past conduct of Joe Quesada in particular is refusal to recognize that Spidey's stories weren't "realistic" in every sense of the word, and he for one kept acting like Peter being married is the worst thing that could happen. I recall Roger Stern regrettably took a similar position, even as writers like him don't seem to have any issue with Superman and Lois Lane wedding, or even 3rd Flash Wally West and Linda Park tying the knot. What's so wrong with Peter and MJ marrying that isn't so wrong with most other heroes and co-stars doing the same? That kind of "singling out" is exactly what brought down the medium. Here's another:

Man, I literally could not care less. I saw a fan made character on Twitter (reposted on Reddit, because I don't go on Twitter) of Peter and MJ's daughter raised by Mephisto since she was sold to him during OMD, and that idea felt more fresh and interesting and vital than anything I've read in the last decade, and I'm a god damn ANAD defender!

They're going to keep pussyfooting around with alternate universes, and offshoots while 616 continues to flounder rather than actually doing anything meaningful with the lemon that is OMD. Worse, they'll tease a grand reveal, or retcon only to swerve at the last second in ways that don't even make sense because nothing is stronger than editorial mandate.

Renew Your Vows was great, I loved it- Ultimate sounds great, I'm sure I'll love it, too. That said, I simply cannot be paid to give a damn about the mainline book if they're going to continue with this perpetual 23 year old struggling to make rent schtick. It was boring when I was a 23 year old struggling to make rent, it feels pathetic to even consider reading in my 30s.

What's really appalling is when news sites like Polygon take up this news without any objectivity accompanying the announcements, and their own refusal to give Mary Jane any backing or ask for better editors to oversee Marvel is telling. This is exactly why OMD has never been reversed. Now for one more reader comment:

The people that did OMD are largely still in power at the offices.

It’s like how Dan DiDio at DC said he was against all superhero marriages, but the moment he left a lot of superheroes got their spouses and families back.

Sadly, that's not entirely true, if Geoff Johns' recent Justice Society tale - hopefully his last story for DC - is any suggestion. Even if it's ignored in the long run, what Johns wrote with Jean Loring says quite a bit what he really thinks of the DCU and its past contributors. And even today at DC, quite a few of the people involved with Identity Crisis are still running the store. Mainly because no press sources are willing to argue they're unfit for their jobs, and ask that they resign. Same with Marvel, of course. The press could even argue it's time for Marvel and DC to fold as publishers, but I guess for them that's unacceptable, because then they wouldn't have enough venues to push their woke agendas down the readers' throats.

So there's no reason to buy this latest, pointless relaunch of Spidey, since all the signs point to a lack of interest in merit, ditto a refusal to reverse OMD in the 616 universe proper. As for villains, if they matter, maybe another mistake is how overly reliant superhero comics became upon costumed villains, while any who could be considered more "plainclothes", superpowers or not, have never been experimented with seriously. That's got to be one more reason why story merit so sorely lacking.

Labels: bad editors, dreadful artists, dreadful writers, golden calf of villainy, history, marvel comics, misogyny and racism, msm propaganda, Spider-Man, women of marvel