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Wednesday, March 18, 2020 

C.B. Cebulski makes sure Marvel continues the SJW pandering in New Warriors

Russia Today reports that Marvel just confirmed they're still stuck on stupid, and that their new volume starring the New Warriors was only intended to serve as a social justice platform after all:
With coronavirus panic sparking worldwide toilet paper shortages, Marvel has rolled out new superheroes to restore faith in humanity: ‘Snowflake’ and ‘Safespace’. Not really the heroes we need, but probably the ones we deserve.

Known for iconic characters such as Spider Man, the Hulk, and Captain America, Marvel has apparently decided that comic book fans need new, “post-ironic” (their words, not ours) heroes. The entertainment company unveiled in a new trailer that their ‘New Warriors’ line-up includes psychic twins named Snowflake and Safespace.

Snowflake is obviously non-binary and “goes by they/them,” Marvel noted. The gender-fluid twin vanquishes enemies with “snowflake-shaped projectiles.”

“The connotations of the word ‘snowflake’ in our culture right now are something fragile, and this is a character who is turning it into something sharp,” the comic book company helpfully explained.

Safespace, who identifies as male, is able to create a defensive force field – perhaps to shield people from being mis-gendered, for example.

The magical twins are “hyper aware of modern culture” and see their super powers as a “post-ironic meditation on using violence to combat bullying,” Marvel un-ironically wrote.
And that's not all, as the Post Millenial reveals:
If having a non-binary superhero with they/them pronouns and a character whose superpowers are literally “triggered” by seeing other people suffer, Marvel is also introducing Trailblazer, a proud black woman of color who also happens to be morbidly obese.

She doesn’t actually have any superpowers of her own, but she does have a magic backpack from whence she can pull magical objects like the magical Japanese cat, Doraemon. She’s a fat, sassy Doraemon.

You couldn’t make this up.
Thinking about this, I'd say Marvel, writer Daniel Kibblesmith and artist Luciano Vecchio have insulted black women. Do they really think all blacks embrace obesity any more than whites do? This is really a case of insulting people's intellects and health.

No matter what they say, Marvel's not going to change the fact that these are negative descriptions and slangs, nor that they're putting politics above entertainment yet again. And in this sugarcoated post on Comics Beat, they give information on 2 more characters starring in the new take:
SCREENTIME: A Meme-Obsessed super teen whose brain became connected to the internet after becoming exposed to his grandfather’s “experimental internet gas.” Now he can see augmented reality and real-time maps, and can instantly Google any fact. Does this make him effectively a genius? He sure acts like it does.

“The word ’screen time’ is only ever used in a sort of restrictive sense, and because we’re doing a story about teenage rebels, a lot of the names are about teens fighting against labels that are put on them. So with Screentime, we liked the idea that he has infinite screen time.”
It sounds like a justification for internet addiction, which is no better than TV addiction. The premise for the character's powers sounds incredibly dumb too. And then:
B-NEGATIVE: A teen “living vampire” exposed to Michael Morbius’s blood as a child in a rogue, but life-saving medical procedure. He still ages like a regular kid, but has all the abilities of Morbius. He’s also obsessed with all the music and attitude of a “classic” long-past decades like the ’90s, and the ’00s. “The world is a vampire…and so am I.”

“B-Negative is the goth kid. When he was a baby he got a rogue lifesaving blood transfusion, we assume, from Michael Morbius. And now he has a very similar look, and very similar vampire powers…B-Negative ages like a regular person (or does he?) and he definitely drinks blood (or does he?), but designer/artist Luciano Vecchio took brilliant inspiration from the ’90s Spider-Man cartoon and gave B-Negative the ‘leech suckers’ that the animated version of Morbius had on his palms.”
This is just so lame too. The article also says:
The New Mutants are perhaps most infamous for having indirectly caused the inciting incident of 2006’s Civil War event, which led to the passage of the Superhuman Registration Act and a schism in the superhero world. Outlawed appears to be a similar situation, with a new law (colloquially called “Kamala’s Law,” for reasons that become clear in the Outlawed one-shot) that prohibits the unauthorized activity of superheroes below a certain age. The role The New Mutants team will play post-Outlawed is described as one in which the old guard take in and teach the new guard how to be heroes, but whether it’s within or outside the auspices of the new law is made clear in the Outlawed one-shot (which I won’t spoil here).
The writer may not realize it, but not only did he make a hilarious typo confusing Warriors with Chris Claremont's notable spinoff from X-Men, he just villified the NW team without criticizing Joe Quesada and company as the architects who concocted such an awful story, putting the NW in a position they didn't have to be in.

If you needed further confirmation C.B. Cebulski's one of the worst SJWs to litter Marvel, even as he avoids directly antagonizing the audience, this would have to be it. This is definitely not something you need go to the comic shop to look for at a time when Coronavirus is bringing public life to a standstill.

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A couple of suggestions for new characters:

Smyeer: shoots an ultra sticky glue that tags opponents as racists or bigots if they disagree with, or question, the SJW agenda

PuriTON: highly intolerant of free speech or debate or anything that even questions the woke religion in the slightest way. Leads revivals and awakenings to woke more people and sits on nonbelievers with its one ton body weight.

Scatter: has the ability to drive people out of movie theaters and comic shops by concentrating its mind on defeating entertainment with heavy handed political messaging and moralizing.

Downer: takes once beloved characters, stories, and worlds and transforms them into propaganda organs. Has a heartless view of the world that sees all creations as platforms to control or attack people.



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  • From Jerusalem, Israel
  • I was born in Pennsylvania in 1974, and moved to Israel in 1983. I also enjoyed reading a lot of comics when I was young, the first being Fantastic Four. I maintain a strong belief in the public's right to knowledge and accuracy in facts. I like to think of myself as a conservative-style version of Clark Kent. I don't expect to be perfect at the job, but I do my best.
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