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Wednesday, July 26, 2006 

Topps plummets to Bottoms

Oh yes, even a comic strip found inside a chewing gum wrapper like Bazooka Joe can fall victim to bizarre ultra-political correctness, including stereotypical multiculturalism. From the Detroit Free Press:
What have they done to Bazooka Joe?

Experts in the study of bubble gum had some bad news for the folks who make Bazooka bubble gum: Today's youth preferred softer chews than those hard little pink Bazooka squares.

Bazooka Joe was an out-of-date nerd at 53.

So Bazooka softened the gum and swooped in to remake Joe. Out with his rolled-up pants. In with a backward hat and ripped jeans.

Out with his old friends. In with a multicultural gang who will appear in Bazooka comics: tomboy Casey McGavin, German exchange student Wolfgang Spreckels, greenie Cindy Lewis, sci-fi fan Kevin Griffin and DJ Chen, who loves mixing records.

The new look was revealed at the recent All Candy Expo in Chicago.
Okay, I can understand why anyone might want the gum to be softer and easier to chew on. As someone with vast experience in chewing on Snickers chocolate from Hershey's Inc, I can tell you that even the peanut butter based chocolate could use an easier-to-munch list of ingredients (the Twix chocolate, assuming that it IS chocolate, I will absolutely NOT touch, because it's so running the gauntlet of breaking one's teeth, it'd be a stinker anytime). But since when did the comic strips the Topps company put into the package get mixed up in all this? The premise they present here looks as though it was scrawled on - what else? - a gum wrapper.

Let's see, a German exchange student? I think I've heard that cliche before, and I wouldn't be surprised if stereotypical jokes will soon be on the horizon in BJ's strips. In any case, if European characters are needed, why not French, Armenian, Greek, Danish, Swedish? Are those really that hard to get the hang of culture-wise?

A tomboy? Alas, from the pictures I've seen, this looks to be very unfeminine.

A sci-fi fan? Quite worn out.

When they say "greenie", they mean an environmentalist. But beyond that, I don't see much humor in it.

And what's so new about being a dee-jay? Nada.

If they think they're clever, they've only succeeded in putting me for one to sleep. The ideas they have here for a new cast to supplant the old are ones that I've seen already, and multiculturalism is already being looked upon as more a curse than a blessing, because it signifies a hatred of one's own native culture. Not that I was ever much of a gum muncher, if at all, but this certainly won't encourage me to open their wrappers to look for the Bazooka strips if they intend to go along with it.

The National Post of Canada says that the Topps company's stocks have plummeted considerably in recent years, but from what I read here, I can't tell if it has anything to do with a food-to-readership audiences' loss of interest in the BJ character. I guess Topps just decided to take their anger out on poor ol' Joe while going down with the sinking ship.

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  • From Jerusalem, Israel
  • I was born in Pennsylvania in 1974, and moved to Israel in 1983. I also enjoyed reading a lot of comics when I was young, the first being Fantastic Four. I maintain a strong belief in the public's right to knowledge and accuracy in facts. I like to think of myself as a conservative-style version of Clark Kent. I don't expect to be perfect at the job, but I do my best.
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