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Saturday, June 19, 2010 

Jonah Hex movie was ruined

While we're on the subject of movies, I looked at the news about the movie adaptation of Jonah Hex, and if the reviews tell anything, it looks like it's become a disaster (I was going to say it looks to be financial dud to boot, but Deadline Hollywood has already confirmed this). This review on Rogers Media gives a clue to what went wrong:
[Quentin] Turnbull also horribly scars Jonah's face with a branding iron. The whole experience somehow leaves Jonah able to bring the dead back to life momentarily with a touch, so he can interrogate them (this arbitrary superpower comes with its own phoney rules that include the dead's ability to see the comings and goings of anyone they knew. Handy trick for a bounty hunter looking for info).
You know, if they're going to turn this into a supernatural affair, they're only signaling they're desperate. This might make the same mistakes as at least 2 other movies: The Wild, Wild West (and Robert Conrad even accepted a Golden Rasberry award to show his disdain for how the classic TV series he starred in was messed up), and even the more recent Spirit movie, which turned Dennis Colt into a living-dead protagonist.

Nice going there, DC and WB. Now a great western comic's been ruined, turned into a modern day equivalent of Heaven's Gate. And it only suggests they have no idea how to handle their properties at all.

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It's Catwoman, Constantine and Frank Miller's insult he calls The Spirit type of ruin.

I knew they were gonna keep that powers crap even before they began casting.

Hopefully this means there won't be a sequel. And maybe that bimbo Fox will now vanish into obscurity. Okay, the second is wishful thinking, but I just can't stand her.

Joshie Brolin should do something more in line with his talents, like making direct-to-video Goonies sequels. He is the Fake Darrin of Hex lore. Or the Hayden Christensen for you younger folks.

The screenwriters haven't a god damn clue to writing a straght forward western. Barely the non-comic reading public could ever remember Hex's appearances on Batman The Animated Series or Justice League Unlimited.

Back to licking Jason Statham's arse for more dollar bin action flicks.

If DC was going to make a "Jonah Hex" movie, it should have been done in the 1970s, when the character was actually popular, and it should have starred Clint Eastwood, who I think at that time would have been fantastic as J.H.

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