The Four Color Media Monitor

The would-be comics writer whose projects like Border Town have been shut down due to the allegations of sexual abuse leveled against him (there appears to be at least a handful of accusations so far) reopened his Twitter account to issue an apology for his past misconduct, but, it all looks more like an attempt to deflect blame from himself onto "role models":

Well-meaning entities in my life have discouraged me from saying anything in public. I've been told that the best strategy right now is to "hold tight, until this all blows over"...But I don't want this to "blow over". Either in my own life, or in Culture-at-large.

— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018

What I want, is to apologize. To serve as a cautionary tale to others. And to change.

— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018

I honestly doubt he will, if the following entries say anything about where he's going with his personality.

Hearing my past behavior described to me this week has been the most surreal experience of my life. My perception of events, relationships, and personal dynamics are so far removed from the way they've been recounted, my knee-jerk reaction is to deny them outright...

— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018

...Both publicly, and to myself.

But the sources of these accusations are women who I not only respect, but who I genuinely love.

— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018

Oh, tell us about it. He may be confirming at least a few of the accusations against him are true, but, there's still reason to believe he's not taking full accountability. From what I know, the legal consenting age in Arizona is 18, and if any girls he'd gone after were underaged, he's certainly guilty of violating statutory laws. So he might want to consider turning himself in to the authorities.

These are people whose presence in my life has changed me for the better, and who I am infinitely grateful to have known. People who I've kept in intimate contact with since the years we've been apart.

— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018

So it doesn't make sense that they'd simply be making things up. They have nothing to gain, and everything to lose.

The odds suggest that I have a problem. Or, rather, that I AM a problem.

— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018

And, honestly, that's something I've been at least peripherally aware of for some time. Everything I've ever written has been about a young man, operating at a deficit because he grew up without a father, trying his damndest to figure out what it means to be a "man".

— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018

And that's because I was pulling from my own experience. I grew up without any male role models. So I looked to Pop Culture for instructions. A lot of what I learned was useful: the sobriety I reverse-engineered from Batman, the compassion for animals that I aped from Aquaman,etc

— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018

But the stuff I learned about male sexuality-- from James Bond, Arthur Fonzarelli, Gene Simmons, etc-- were completely inappropriate.

— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018

(To be clear: I'm not blaming Pop Culture for my actions. If I didn't grow up behind a library, I would've found other archetypes to emulate. Possibly even shittier ones)

— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018

Sorry, but I think he is blaming pop culture for his revolting actions, and parroting modern liberal views that Ian Fleming's Agent 007 was nothing more than a bad example. It doesn't excuse Esquivel's personal responsibility in making mistakes, and if he'd wanted to, he could've figured out the differences between right and wrong, and made a positive figure out of himself without need of a direct patriarchal figure.

I was, and continue to be, insecure in my masculinity.

— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018

And he can't find and read self-help books providing the best examples, or anything? Yawn. He sure doesn't admit he's disrespectful in his views towards conservatives and patriots in the USA. And the following further hints he's trying to absolve himself of direct blame:

In my twenties, I tried to combat that by doing everything I could to muster up external validation: getting into fistfights, pursuing the spotlight, and behaving extraordinarily promiscuously. Especially with other men's wives and girlfriends.

— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018

It kills me that I have to say this, but: I never engaged with anyone who was unwilling. Not only is that downright evil, it wouldn't have accomplished what I was trying to accomplish: which is to feel wanted and appreciated.

— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018

Wait a minute. Is he saying he led affairs with adulterous women?!? That's only attempting to deflect blame onto his sex partners, and that's what's really evil. He certainly won't be wanted or appreciated if he doesn't have what it takes to avoid extramarital affairs with women whose husbands/boyfriends are in committed or monogomous relations with them, and worse, if he actually did force himself upon any defenseless ladies and then try to pretend he's the victim instead.

I became conscious of my own toxic behavior about two years ago, after a close female friend suggested that I examine myself from that perspective.

— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018

I've attempted to change the way I've lived since then. I've volunteered at various community-oriented charities, taught writing classes to formerly-incarcerated youth, used my platform in The Arts to amplify the voices of disadvantaged creators...

— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018

... but I never reached out to the women from my past, to make sure that I hadn't unknowingly harmed them. Mostly because I am a coward, and feared hearing that the answer was "Yes, of course".

— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018

Evidently, he did harm somebody, but clearly doesn't have what it takes to apologize and take responsibility for his past actions.

I don't know what to say about that. I don't know how to make things okay. I don't know how I can be of use to culture, going forward.

— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018

Is it by encouraging other men to examine themselves, and their behavior? Is it by documenting my recovery from sex addiction in public, to show that it's possible? Is it by fucking off into the night forever, so nobody has to deal with me ever again?

— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018

Honestly, I hope it's that last one. Because that's the easy way out. &, as I've mentioned, I'm a coward.

...But I suspect that it's not. I suspect that I'm not operating on a level of awareness that allows me to see the answer yet. But I'm going to try to get there. I promise.

— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018

Honestly, this is not so much an apology as an attempt to alleviate himself of guilt. He's just demonstrated why he's not fit for showbusiness. Besides getting his Vertigo series canned, he's also been removed as co-writer for Nightwing, which he almost got assigned to. What an embarrassment indeed. If the story he had going in Border Town was left incomplete, it's clear it won't be finished, which is just as well after what politics I learned it was built on. Mr. Esquivel's career's come to a close even before it began.

Update: good gosh, it looks like he's erased the official entries, leaving only the skeleton data! Evidently, if he's a coward, then he couldn't take the backlash he faced from Twitter users either. Sigh. Anyway, it looks like he could be facing legal action from a law firm called Portelli, and if the case does go to court, it'll remain to be seen how that turns out.

Labels: dc comics, misogyny and racism, moonbat writers, politics, violence