The Four Color Media Monitor

Now what have we here, Wizard magazine writing an item in which Shang-Chi, Marvel Comics's Master of Kung Fu, is supposedly writing a column, and the real person who put it together seems to have quite a childish mind:

Wizard Magazine is proud to continue its ongoing advice column from syndicated lifestyle expert and Master of Kung Fu, Shang-Chi. For the full scoop check out Wizard #175 - on sale now.

Call Me SHANG-CHI, as my father did when he raised me in the loveless vacuum of his Honan, China retreat. My name means “The Rising and Advancing of a Spirit,” and my body has been forged into a living weapon. I also have my online family counseling degree. Now, as if by destiny, my advice column! KEEE-YAH!

CONCERNING FOKKING UP A BI-PLANE…
The Red Baron must be dealt with for soiling the good name of frozen pizzas everywhere. Brace yourself against his wing and tear that Fokker to shreds with your bare hands until the mother of all Fokkers plummets into the Earth. (Master of Kung Fu #57)

CONCERNING PANTHER FIGHTING…
Anyone who’s ever had to punch a panther in the face knows they have a glass jaw. And after years in this business, boy do I know it! Fans will know that, before becoming Master of Kung-Fu, I was a freelance panther puncher in the Orient. So, my advice to you is this: When one pounces on you as you’re doing your business in the jungle, don’t hesitate to rain elbows until it’s unconscious. As a final insult to his family’s honor, write “balls” on his head with a silver marker. (Master of Kung Fu #65)

So let's see what we have here. One juvenile introduction to the piece, a failed attempt to write about Snoopy's archnemesis in the first world war, and a paragraph in which they insult Black Panther. Sick.

And it sounds as if the Red Baron was present when this was written, and shot down Wizard's very own Sopwith Camel plane.

Labels: msm propaganda