« Home | Wizard is lost in the jungle, and tangled in the u... » | I had no idea who or what Ambush Bug was... » | I'm not on Millar's side in this argument, that's ... » | For Stan Lee, something was in the air about super... » | I wish Millar would just leave Marvel already » | Science of superheroes exhibition » | Doom Patrol reinstated properly in the DCU » | Quesada still can't shake his biases: now he decla... » | Robin the Teen Fugitive Suspect » | Comics hero as a school mascot » 

Sunday, April 16, 2006 

...And this is pretty juvenile too

Now what have we here, Wizard magazine writing an item in which Shang-Chi, Marvel Comics's Master of Kung Fu, is supposedly writing a column, and the real person who put it together seems to have quite a childish mind:
Wizard Magazine is proud to continue its ongoing advice column from syndicated lifestyle expert and Master of Kung Fu, Shang-Chi. For the full scoop check out Wizard #175 - on sale now.

Call Me SHANG-CHI, as my father did when he raised me in the loveless vacuum of his Honan, China retreat. My name means “The Rising and Advancing of a Spirit,” and my body has been forged into a living weapon. I also have my online family counseling degree. Now, as if by destiny, my advice column! KEEE-YAH!

CONCERNING FOKKING UP A BI-PLANE…
The Red Baron must be dealt with for soiling the good name of frozen pizzas everywhere. Brace yourself against his wing and tear that Fokker to shreds with your bare hands until the mother of all Fokkers plummets into the Earth. (Master of Kung Fu #57)

CONCERNING PANTHER FIGHTING…
Anyone who’s ever had to punch a panther in the face knows they have a glass jaw. And after years in this business, boy do I know it! Fans will know that, before becoming Master of Kung-Fu, I was a freelance panther puncher in the Orient. So, my advice to you is this: When one pounces on you as you’re doing your business in the jungle, don’t hesitate to rain elbows until it’s unconscious. As a final insult to his family’s honor, write “balls” on his head with a silver marker. (Master of Kung Fu #65)
So let's see what we have here. One juvenile introduction to the piece, a failed attempt to write about Snoopy's archnemesis in the first world war, and a paragraph in which they insult Black Panther. Sick.

And it sounds as if the Red Baron was present when this was written, and shot down Wizard's very own Sopwith Camel plane.

Labels:

About me

  • I'm Avi Green
  • From Jerusalem, Israel
  • I was born in Pennsylvania in 1974, and moved to Israel in 1983. I also enjoyed reading a lot of comics when I was young, the first being Fantastic Four. I maintain a strong belief in the public's right to knowledge and accuracy in facts. I like to think of myself as a conservative-style version of Clark Kent. I don't expect to be perfect at the job, but I do my best.
My profile

Archives

Links

  • avigreen2002@yahoo.com
  • Fansites I Created

  • Hawkfan
  • The Greatest Thing on Earth!
  • The Outer Observatory
  • Earth's Mightiest Heroines
  • The Co-Stars Primer
  • Realtime Website Traffic

    Comic book websites (open menu)

    Comic book weblogs (open menu)

    Writers and Artists (open menu)

    Video commentators (open menu)

    Miscellanous links (open menu)

  • W3 Counter stats
  • Bio Link page
  • blog directory Bloggeries Blog Directory View My Stats Blog Directory & Search engine eXTReMe Tracker Locations of visitors to this page  
    Flag Counter

    This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

    make money online blogger templates

Older Posts Newer Posts

The Four Color Media Monitor is powered by Blogspot and Gecko & Fly.
No part of the content or the blog may be reproduced without prior written permission.
Join the Google Adsense program and learn how to make money online.