The Four Color Media Monitor

USA Today informed that Marvel's publishing a new take on the miniseries that was instrumental in destroying self-contained storytelling for superhero comics (and also the universes set up by smaller publishers like the original/new Valiant, who called theirs Unity):

Marvel Comics' Secret Wars event 30 years ago kicked off the comic-book mega-crossover with the company's greatest heroes and villains.

And since then, it's taken up more than half of yearly output at both Marvel and DC, with almost every solo book tied into the mainstream universes having at least one issue dedicated to an already pointless exercise in futility. The worst thing about DC's is how they used a lot of theirs as a cheap excuse for killing off any minor character they thought was expendable, under the confidence nobody has any qualms of any kind. The saving grace for Crisis on Infinite Earth was that any heroes (and co-stars) who perished there remained heroes till the end without being denigrated for the sake of it, but Armageddon and Zero Hour changed all that, and it's become a tasteless, sometimes even offensive cliche ever since.

So in bringing it back as the publisher's major story line of 2015, Marvel is going from simply large in scale to "overwhelmingly huge," says executive editor Tom Brevoort. "The scope of it is about the biggest thing we've ever done or attempted to do.

"It's may be not the best thing to say but I don't know how we'll top it a year later."

That's okay, because they never topped it to start with. They certainly didn't score points with the Secret Wars sequel from 1986, which was much weaker than the first. It wouldn't surprise me if, in their determination to be "huge", in ego and supply only, they'll make sure the hub miniseries is as long - and maybe longer - than 12 issues, much like the original. The following certainly doesn't leave assurance they'll be reasonable with their output:

Marvel announced Thursday night at New York Comic Con that the new company-wide Secret Wars comic — written by Avengers scribe Jonathan Hickman and drawn by Esad Ribic — will not only affect the entire publishing side when it debuts in the spring but boasts a story that crosses over to digital platforms, introduces new consumer products from various licensees and will work in a synergistic fashion across the Marvel brand.

Wow, now what does that say? That people who use their computerized content may have to pay extra if they want to check out every nook and cranny of this new joke. We can expect DC to follow suit with their own digital products later on too. And that adds up to a new way they've devised to exploit consumers for every penny's worth without guaranteeing the story will be entertaining.

While Brevoort only has to worry about the comics, he still jokes it's enough to give him intestinal distress. "But we are an experienced and crack fighting storytelling team. It really is a game-changer in as major a way as you can imagine."

Yep, they're experienced alright. That is, they've long mastered the concept of throwing coherency and characterization out the window while putting higher priority on the movie adaptations.

Sam Wilson, the new African-American Captain America, is shown, as is his predecessor Steve Rogers and a woman in familiar star-spangled garb, while the new female Thor is seemingly looking for a rumble with the old Thor — and a third Thor isn't far from the action either.

Brevoort confirms that each one of those versions is an incarnation of those heroes from some point within Marvel's 75-year publishing history. "None of it is random and none of it is brand new."

The Ross image "sort of sums up what we're doing," he adds. "However massive you think this is, let me assure you it is bigger than that. It's by far the craziest thing that I've dealt with."

Correction, it's the poorest idea he's dealt with. Obviously just another excuse to show heroes and their doppelgangers duking it out with each other, and an almost immediate attempt at mimicking the Spider-crossover they have coming out. One of most annoying things about the original Secret Wars is that it somehow led to a kind of rivalry between Spider-fans and X-fans because Spider-Man trounced a few of the X-Men at one point in the miniseries. While it's not the first time Spidey ever had a minor scuffle with other heroes, SW's was ludicrous in how it took this all to a new level of absurdity, and came off looking like Jim Shooter had a needless grudge against the X-Men, using Spider-Man as his conveyer belt. The story may have sowed the seeds for years to come, with heroes turning on each other and focusing far less on villains.

When the first Secret Wars debuted in 1984, it was earth-shattering at the time for Marvel readers, with the Beyonder plucking all their favorite characters, good and evil, from Earth and taking them to a strange intergalactic place called Battleworld. (The 12-issue maxiseries also spawned a wave of action figures.)

They don't mention it here, but I don't think the toy line was particularly successful. As for the miniseries, anybody who bought that back in the day made a huge mistake.

People who have an understanding of what Secret Wars means to Marvel lore will find aspects and elements of the upcoming event that are familiar, Brevoort says. "It's the prototype for doing this kind of story."

SW meant nothing significant to their lore, not even Spidey's black symbiote costume, which was eventually abandoned. The only prototype it's served as was to interfere more and more with the writing efforts of decent contributors, gradually discouraging them from working at the Big Two, unless they don't care about story quality, as their modern list of writers is proving.

"Our hope is that as seismic as the original Secret Wars was to the Marvel Universe and the readers, this new Secret Wars will be to the readers of today," Brevoort says.

"People are certainly going to be talking about it 30 years from now."

I'm sure he knows they won't, unless it's to tell just what a waste of trees it was and spelled the continuing end to creative freedom at both companies (ditto Valiant, if they intend to publish another one). In a few years it'll all turn up in the bargain bins, and that's all you need to know why this is not going to be seen as a classic, and the only value it'll have is to naive speculators who'll buy it under the false pretense it'll be worth millions someday.

Labels: bad editors, conventions, crossoverloading, dc comics, dreadful writers, golden calf of death, indie publishers, licensed products, marvel comics, msm propaganda, technology